Young Adults Survival Guide To Moving Back Home – Part 5: Prioritize your relationships AKA “Don’t shy away”

This blog is the fifth and final part of my 5 part series talking about my real-life experience moving in with my in-laws for a time.  To read the rest of the series, click here.

Moving in with my wife’s parents, I knew that we would have to cut out certain things in order to maximize the time we had to save money.  But there was one line-item I refused to cut, both in money and time, and that was a date night once a week for us.

Because we were moving in with her parents and not mine, the temptation for her was going to feel like she was back in high school again…except now with a husband in tow.  Our time spent together at home was now “family time” by default. 

Because we embarked on this project together, I wanted to make sure we invested in time spent together, just us.  We needed time to check in with one another and talk through what was going on in our lives. I’m so glad we did.  Even in the most well-functioning families, it’s difficult for two families to live under one roof. 

Beyond our first relationship to each other, we also made sure that we didn’t become recluses and never saw our friends.  WE moved back in as a married couple, but if you are single, this is especially important.  We had made several close friendships while living on our own: church friends, work friends, friends from college who lived in the area.  It would have been easy to pull away from those relationships, but instead we decided to share our goals with them and why we made our decision. And you know what happened?   They didn’t judge us.  They supported us in getting to where we wanted to go.

Just because we moved back didn’t mean we had to give up our lives, weekly activities, and friendships.  We were still individual people with lives to live.

Conclusion

I said before the story does have a happy ending.  From the money we saved and debt we paid off, my wife and I were able to purchase a house before the end of our 12 months.

This certainly isn’t a “one size fits all” list.  Everyone’s financial and family situation is different.  Our journey took 12 months, but for others it could be longer or shorter.  Moving back home with kids is whole other dynamic as well.  My point is, everyone’s journey is different and their own, not better or worse. 

I’ve learned to speak openly about my experiences, in hopes that it can help others, both other young people and, just maybe, their parents who don’t quite know how to help their kids.

I’m happy to talk about more specifics and advice. Leave a comment, DM, or email me at david@tworoadslending.com.

David Koch

David Koch

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